he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
