i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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