i would punch a child for taco bell
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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