help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize