Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
