Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize