Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
