I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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