I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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