Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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