She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
