Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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