i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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