thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
