Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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