I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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