I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
