My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
