you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
