it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
