road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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