why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
