I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
