The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
