It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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