I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
