Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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