His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
