I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
