so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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