i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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