Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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