Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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