On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
