areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
