I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
