this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
