The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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