the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
