I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
