Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize