Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
