Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Randomize
