shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
