so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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