There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
