I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
