So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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