I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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