and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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