OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
