people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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