why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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