what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
