Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize