Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
