yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
