does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
