ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
did i walk over a car last night?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
