Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
