On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
MIDGETS
????
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
