I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
you made out with another girl for some wings
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
