real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
