You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
