all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
