No, you can still breathe under the balls.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
We smell like vodka and hangover
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