dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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