A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
