Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
