Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
